An Off-the-Wall Idea

The government shutdown rages on, but the wall or no-wall deadlock will surely be resolved before the number of federal-employee bankruptcies reaches 100,000. In the meantime, we on The Other Side thought we’d step back from the logic-free invective that passes for political discourse these days and take an off-the-wall look at the source of the problem: immigration overload.

Over the last 30 years, the demographics of Hispanic immigration to the United States have changed. Back in the 1980’s, the majority were young men seeking opportunity, legal or otherwise. Today, the majority of Hispanics at our southern border are families seeking asylum from corrupt, fiercely violent regimes in Central America. Some are so desperate that they’re willing to walk 2,000 miles to get here, with children in tow, with little or no money to pay for food and shelter along the way, and with no assurance that they’ll be admitted when they arrive.

In our books, that’s the Outer Ring of the Seventh Circle of Hell. (See Dante’s Inferno.)

It seems to us that two significant things have changed since the eighties. First, the violence and corruption in Guatemala, Nicaragua, El Salvador, and Honduras have gotten worse. Second, smart phones have enabled their victims to see that there’s a better, safer place to raise their children, a “shining city on a hill” that happens from their perspective to be halfway to the Arctic Circle.

From the US government’s perspective, of late anyway, this looks like “The Invasion of the Immigrants.” Our border defenses have been overrun. Our visa application processes and asylum courts are overloaded. Our refugee integration agencies are so overwhelmed that imprisoning thousands of children didn’t make a dent.

Plainly, our system isn’t working, so let’s ask an off-the-wall question: Is there a more humane, passably affordable alternative to shutting our borders?

Our off-the-wall idea: Develop a second haven that’s less violent, less corrupt, and more closely resembles a democracy than Nicaragua, Guatemala, El Salvador, and Honduras. Our candidate: Panama! It’s a lot closer; it’s a representative democracy with actual elections; and Panamanians speak the same language. The country is larger than West Virginia and sparsely populated, so there’s plenty of room.

Panama is hardly Denmark, of course, and there would be challenges, but let’s be solution–oriented. Let’s channel billions in foreign aid to Panama that we normally shower on our staunchest allies like Pakistan, Iran, Nigeria, and Venezuela. Let’s motivate US corporations to invest in Panama, and let’s subsidize the establishment of Panamanian immigration and assimilation systems. In other words, let’s pay Panama to help us stem the tide by creating a second haven.

Maybe $5.7 billion would be enough to get the ball rolling. Or we can wall off 2,000 miles of border (not counting Canada), mine 12,000 miles of coastline, and litigate this issue until the next Ice Age.

NOTES

1. The right of asylum was formalized by the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights in 1948. The US government routinely ignores it.

2. Rene Descartes fled to the Netherlands, Voltaire fled to England, and Thomas Hobbes fled to France because the sovereign nations above provided asylum to persecuted foreigners. We got Ivana and Melania.

3. Circa 39 million people live in Nicaragua, El Salvador, Guatemala and Honduras. If 100,000 flee every year to the US or Panama or Uruguay or wherever, it will take more than 500 years for the four countries to empty out. (Their populations are still growing.)

4. If we were European, we’d be talking to Jordan and Botswana.

One thought on “An Off-the-Wall Idea

  1. Well done. There will be a problem with immigrant jobs to be had.,but that can be addressed with Job Corps approach as well the foreign aid you cited. Concurrently, something needs to be done with the countries involved. One could argue this is a national security and safety issue. Solve the reason for the problem: safety and security in the 3 countries involved. Anything less is doomed to failure.

    Like

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